My kibological songs

See also:

Your Hadron

February 2010

I was born in the physics department
My father wore a lab coat with flair
My mother was a geek freak you could call on
And when you called her she'd always be there
When you called her she'd always be there

So don't go home with your hadron
It will only drive you insane

Apologies to Leonard Cohen

See also The Typo We've Been Waiting For

Doctroid, My Eyes

March 2009

Doctroid, my eyes have seen the threads
With those long cascades we dread
Without flaming
Now I want to BBQ

I have done all that I could
To troll the evil and the good
Without morphing
You must help me to get through

Doctroid, my eyes
Tell me what is wrong
Was I unwise
To sit and kiboze for so long?

As I've wandered through this net
As each challenge has been met
I've been waiting
To get logged out of this dream

People post what crap they will
I never figure out until
It's too late
That IHBT more than it seemed

Doctroid, my eyes
Tell me to get out quick
I hear their cries
Just saying "Watch that pointy stick!"

(air guitar solo)

Doctroid, my eyes
Cannot leave this chat
Is this the prize
For laughing at those lolcats?

Apologies to Jackson Browne.

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April 2008

You better beware, you better take note
You better watch out if you've got a white lab coat
He'll come from behind, and look in your mind
You'd better not go, never know what you'll find

You look in his eyes, don't be surprised
If you don't know what's going on behind his disguise
Nobody knows where Buster goes
He'll steal your results out from under your nose

Does anyone know the way, did we hear someone say
We just haven't got a clue what to do
Does anyone know the way, there's got to be a way
To Mythbuster!

Apologies to Nicky Chinn, Mike Chapman, and Sweet.

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Too drunk to fsck

March 2008

Went to a party
And drank 16 beers
Some funny stuff happened
And I want to post it here

I push the button
But it won't boot up
My drive has errors
And I'm too drunk to fsck

Too drunk to fsck
Too drunk to fsck
Too drunk
To fsck
I'm too drunk, too drunk, too drunk to fsck

Can't post my nonsense
Can't check my facts
Can't download pr0n
Don't know how to react

Fat-fingered the root password
I'm all out of lsck
My kernel just panics
And I'm too drunk to fsck

Apologies to the Dead Kennedys.

This was brilliantly recorded by Charlie as an Interröbang Cartel song. After some discussion on ARK, I concluded that I preferred the pronunciation that rhymes with “musk”, and Charlie graciously recorded it again that way.